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Black Friday 2023 recs
While waiting for Questing Beast’s sales guide to drop, I realized that I have a pretty extensive collection myself and could flag some things I recommend that are on sale. I have used all my recommendations at the table, except for Crypts & Things, which I read closely.
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Coding hex flowers in R
Goblin’s Henchman has done a lot of work on hex flowers, culminating in The Hex Flower Cookbook. The basic idea is to have a random table, but one with memory such that the last result affects the next. A “hex flower” is a hex of hexes, where the big hex is three small hexes to a face, resulting in 19 hexes in the flower. You roll 2d6, which tells you which way to move from the current hex. As you’d expect from 2d6, some values are more likely than others and so the tendency is to move down and to the left. Mostly the map rolls over the edge (like PacMan) but a few paths are blocked.
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Review: Monsters, Aliens, and Holes in the Ground
I recently read and enjoyed Stu Horvath’s Monsters, Aliens, and Holes in the Ground (hereafter MAHG) but it wasn’t what I expected. I was expecting something comparable to Art & Arcana but not limited to just D&D. There are two differences between Art & Arcana and MAHG. The obvious but less important one is that MAHG has more text and less pictures. This is ironic given that the book grew out of Horvath’s Instagram feed.
The less obvious but more important difference is that Art & Arcana is ultimately a work of history written (in part) by an academic historian. In contrast, despite being published by MIT Press, MAHG is not a work of academic scholarship, but a collector showing off his stuff. Horvath’s tone is a bit like travel writing, with a heavy emphasis on the subjective experience. This is especially pronounced in his review of Old School Essentials, which reads like the grognard equivalent to asking Proust about a cookie.
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objet trouve one-page dungeon

In late November 2001, The Times of London published a remarkably, ahem, speculative illustration of where Bin Laden might be hiding. I only had to change a couple of the captions to make a passable dungeon. At first glance it seems linear but the ventilation ducts and multiple entrances effectively Jaquays the dungeon. Stupid journalism but awesome adventure.
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Sew your zines
I recently got a bookbinding kit on Amazon for $7 as I got very tired of choosing between reading zines on my tablet or paying $10 for the zine + $5 for shipping. I found it works well for anything up to about 100 pages. I don’t expect to buy a printed zine again unless a) I’m at a con/FLGS so no shipping, b) there’s interior color artwork, or c) it’s really long. So I will definitely be getting Knock #4 in print. For everything else, I’m paying $3-$5 for the PDF then spending ten minutes to print and bind it myself.
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Oh, the Humanity
One of the basic design issues with D&D is that demihumans get to do stuff, most notably see in the dark, that humans can’t. Given this, why would you ever play a human? This is a problem as a party that is mostly non-humans feels very high fantasy or even D&D eating its own tail, and not the grounded low fantasy of Appendix N sword and sorcery. It is one of many cases where too much magic makes the world feel less magical. A human trades the memory of her first love to an elf for a ray of moonlight is magical. A tiefling, a dragonborn, and a gnome walk into a dungeon is the aftermath of a sale at Spirit of Halloween.
So, how can games keep this in check and ensure they have human PCs. Or more to the point, what rules can you have around race (or as they now call it, kinship, ancestry, or species) with this aim?
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Chesterton’s d20
AD&D as Crunchy OD&D Case Law
If you read Peterson’s Game Wizards you see one of Arneson’s many failed projects was an index for D&D. This was necessary because within a few years finding rules spread across the white box and the three supplements was difficult and confusing. Unfortunately for Arneson, the publication of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons rendered the effort both superfluous and obsolete as soon it was published. A big part of what AD&D did was take all the stuff Arneson indexed and put it in a coherently organized fashion. Well, coherently organized relative to original D&D and its supplements if not relative to such later revisions of AD&D as AD&D 2e, OSRIC, or Hyperborea. Of course, AD&D was more than reorganization but also included a lot of fiddly bits, which is why Swords & Wizardry: Complete (retroclone of OD&D + supplements) and OSRIC (retroclone of AD&D) are similar but different games.
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Corinthian constrictor

20′ long construct typically used to guard tombs or temples. Attacks only when trigger condition is met (e.g., someone tries to take the treasure, someone passes a certain point). At rest it is either a toppled column or a standing one in an architecturally appropriate place.
Armor Class 4 [15] Hit Dice 14* (63hp) Attacks 1 × head bash (3d8 + constriction) THAC0 9 [+10] Movement 60’ (20’) Saving Throws D8 W9 P10 B10 S12 (7) Morale 12 Alignment Neutral XP 2300 Number Appearing 1d2 Treasure Type None
- Mundane damage immunity: Can only be harmed by magical attacks.
- Immunity: Unharmed by gas; unaffected by charm, hold, and sleep spells.
- Energy immunity: Unharmed by fire, cold, and electricity.
- Hypnotize: As alternative to attack, may sway rhythmically to render immobile and unable to speak or act up to 20 HD of creatures. Subjects get saving throw vs spell. Subjects who fail a saving throw recover two rounds after the swaying ceases.
- Constriction: When a head bash attack is successful, the python wraps around the victim and begins to squeeze, inflicting 2d8 automatic damage immediately and on each subsequent round. Only one victim may be constricted at a time, though may head bash others.
- Camouflage: Difficult to detect if encountered in an area with the appropriate architecture.
Inspired by Xu Zhen’s sculpture “Hello.” Author’s photo, I’m OK with you using my photo of it but no idea if Xu or Stanford University have rights to my photo of their sculpture.
